You Have to Crawl Before you can Walk....or so "they" say

How many times have we as parents and probably most importantly us as MOMs heard this one?? The hubby and I were having a conversation about this yesterday. Charlotte is on the verge of crawling, pushing up on all fours and rocking back and forth...she does this all day everyday. Olivia on the other hand would rather roll around and scoot backwards, while she pushes herself up like Charlotte she really doesn't care to crawl (at this time anyway). My husband made the comment "Livy (Olivia) is never gonna walk she has to learn to crawl before she can walk". Of course he was being smart but it sparked the conversation between us of why do we feel she needs to crawl... is it because in a perfect world this is what we are told? He proceeded to say "well that is the law... you have to learn to crawl before you can walk" haha funny. 

So before I go any further with my opinions and feelings I want to make it clear that I am NOT a doctor nor do I have a medical degree of any sort. This blog is purely for me to share my feelings and my experiences and maybe bring some laughter and/or "OMG that happens to me all the time" to your daily lives! 

I remember when Kendal turned one and she wasn't walking yet I felt like I done something wrong- I felt this was because others asked me all the time, "is she walking yet" "is she showing signs" "does she stand on her own" and on and on. These questions made me believe I was doing something wrong because while she was pulling herself up and she could stand on her own she just hadn't taken any steps. I was perfectly ok with this but I guess others weren't. Don't worry she did eventually walk (at 13 months) and is now an excellent walker :) 

I guess if we "googled" infant milestones we would get a list of what to expect at what age. But then when we take our baby to the doctor we might get a different list, and if we asked our next door neighbor... well you get the idea. Everyday when Charlotte gets into the crawling position I sit across from her and tell her she can do it; come on baby you can crawl. Then when she lays flat because she is tired or just doesn't care anymore I think it's kind of silly and I laugh. I mean come on its so cute to watch them rock back and forth then just sprawl out like "I give up". Then I get that little smile from her and she gets back up and tries again. I am sure if someone saw me giggle at her (because I think she's cute) when she stopped trying I would be told a whole slue of things as to why that is wrong and why I shouldn't do that. 

The truth is my oldest daughter is about to turn ten and well I have been trying to be the perfect mother (and wife but that's a whole different story) since the day I found out I was pregnant with her. I read all the books, took the classes, and felt horrible if I didn't do something "right"... but none of that made me "the perfect mother" some if it helped me to become prepared but mostly it made me miss what really mattered; all the little things that don't always equal milestones. I was always (and honestly still am) trying to be perfect, I had to do what the books said, I had to make sure she was on track, make sure she was hitting her milestones. Looking back I wish I wasn't so caught up in being perfect. I wish I had realized I didn't have to be the perfect mom... there is NO way to be the perfect mom. I still struggle now with the twins--they will be 8 months on friday--I want to do everything right for them... As I type this Olivia is starting to cry in her crib and I ask myself... do I let her cry it out? If I soothe her am I doing it wrong? Will it make it harder for her to go to sleep on her own? But the beautiful thing is I have the choice of doing what I think is best for her and I think as parents we forget that sometimes. We do know what is best for our children; so yea maybe we follow the books and what the doctors say and rightfully so but at the end of the day these are OUR babies and our toddlers, and teenagers. Maybe we just need to have a little faith in ourselves and know that we can't and won't be perfect parents and that is ok...