Three Months ~ Parker

It's pretty much a given that each month will be full of new changes and some milestones... so forgive me if I sound repetitive each month by saying I can't believe how much Parker has grown and changed!

•sleep. We are sleeping through the night and I say "WE" because anything Parker does means I do it too! She slowly started sleeping through he night shortly after she turned 2 months. Truth be told I really couldn't wait for this to happen.. don't we all feel this way?? She started off waking about an hour later than normal for her "middle of the night" feeding... going from 3:00 am to 4-4:30 am. Then I started to give her her pacifier when she would wake to see if she would go back to sleep sometimes she would go back to sleep other times not. Eventually she learned to sooth herself back to sleep and will now sleep until about 5:30-6am at which time she gets to lay in bed with mama and will sleep until about 8! I'd say it's still a work in progress but non the less she is sleeping through and I am one happy and semi-rested mama! She is still on and off in the nap category. Some days she will sleep very well and take at least two 2-3 hour naps other days she only naps in 30 minute increments. She does pretty well going to sleep on her own. I've been putting her in the crib while drowsy and while she does fuss for a few minutes she can usually go to sleep without me needing to rock her. 

•eat. We made the transition to formula this month and it was a rough decision for me but the best for Parker and our family. She still eats very very well and is eating 5 ounces around 6 times per day. Between 6 and 8 pm she thinks she needs to eat twice... I am sure this is her "witching" hour as this is typically the only time she is really "fussy". We are still working through her reflux with good days and bad. If she doesn't get her medicine twice a day we can really see a difference in feeding issues. 

•swaddle and cuddle. Little one still loves to be swaddled, all of the girls have loved to be swaddled but never this long, they outgrew the desire to be swaddled right around 2 months. But this one she just loves it; often it is really the only way she will go to sleep.

•play. Parker is really starting to take more interest in "playing" or what can be considered playing at 3 months old. She has discovered her hands and almost always has them up to her mouth. The last week I have noticed her really trying to focus on them while she pulls them up. She loves to look at the mobile on her mamaroo, I've even caught her smiling at it a few times. She also seems to be reaching for it and has hit it while swing her arm... I'm going with she is playing with it :) She has also started to grip her blanket and will hold onto a toy (given to her by big sisters of course) for a few seconds. She smiles all the time and the coos have started especially when we are talking to her... it's just the best! 

~other changes. 

We put Parker in the bumbo for the first time this past month and she was so cute! I think she likes it for sure but may need a few more weeks before she can be in it consistently. She is doing a great job holding her head up which is amazing to me give the fact that she really hates "tummy time". She only lasts about 2 minutes before she is upset and ready to stop.  I see bits of her personality emerging each day, she's very laid back and doesn't make much of a fuss unless of course she is hungry or tired. She also seems to be pretty sensitive to things she is unfamiliar with i.e. daddy making different noises at her or Bella (our dog) barking randomly that little bottom lip comes right out and I know the tears are soon to follow. 

I'm still coming to grips with Parker being our last baby, daughter, child... however we want to label it...she's the "last". I love to just stare at her and I find myself really trying to remember every single thing about her and I play things like her birth day and her first smile and noises over and over in my head so that I won't forget... With every first she has it is also a last for us. I am content in just letting her reach milestones on her own timeline because I know when they start coming there will be another one right around the corner. The love we have (all of us have) for this little one is beyond anything we ever expected.

Happy 3 Months Parker... we love you so

Two Month Update

King size takeover

I love my girls ... All of them ... I really really do. I love everything about them, their smiles, their laughs, their silliness, and the way they love us. Ok, ok of course there are things I would rather not have to deal with, not everything isn't sunshine and rainbows ... Let's get real. But some how even the things you would rather not deal with end up turning into something you couldn't do with out.

Since moving into our house the twins have been out of the cribs and into twin beds. Every once in a while they would make their way into our bed sometimes we would let them stay and other times we would take them back to their own beds. It might be just one of them or it could be both. Since Parker has made her arrival Charlotte and Olivia have made it a pretty regular habit of coming into our bed nearly every night. It usually starts with one of the them snuggling in and about 10 minutes later the other is joining us. Most times a fight ensues because both of them want to lay by mommy or one is by daddy but the other wants to be there. Or they fight over the pillow, or the blanket isn't pulled up correctly, or Charlotte is touching Olivia... oh there's more I assure you. I can usually be heard - half asleep mind you - telling them to stop fighting or they are going back to their room. Then you are woken up by a knee in your back or a foot in your face. I tell myself every night I won't let them stay in the bed with us if they come in. I have plenty of opportunities to take them back to their own room.  Like when I get up with Parker, or need a drink of water, or Curt gets up with the dog. So why don't we do it? If it bothers us so much why don't we just take them back to their room? Because in the chaos of it all Olivia rubs my back and Charlotte snuggles up close to daddy. Because I open my eyes and see my curly haired "almost" three year old with her long eye lashes and pouty lips sleeping so innocently next to us. Because sometimes they cuddle each other and it reminds me of the time they were always with me. Because we know this time is going to pass and end more quickly than we want it to. Soon we won't have little ones crawling into our bed at night. And so we deal with the arguing and the feet in our face because we know we would't have it any other way.

You ARE enough

To the mom who thinks she isn't enough. Isn't enough for her child or children, enough for her significant other, enough for her friends or family. To the mom who thinks she just can't do it any longer, can't work full time and take care of her family, do the laundry, make dinner, pay bills, and still have time to breathe and the end of the day. To the mom who feels like she is only defined by her roles of Mother and significant other, that she is only seen in these lights and questions what her worth is to the family and those around her. To the mom who thinks she isn't strong enough, isn't capable enough, and just isn't all that she believes she can be.

I feel those same things, think these same thoughts, and have been where you are. I too have questioned if I am enough, can I be more than just the stay at home mom, the wife, be more than the label I have placed upon myself? I have said to myself, to my husband, I Just can't do it any more, I can't go to work everyday and come home and still be all that is required of me. 

But I have learned along the way I am enough. I am more than just mom and wife, I can stay home or I can work either way I can do it and I can be good at it. I don't need others to define if I am a good mother or wife. It's ok if I have a bad day... one bad day doesn't define me as mother or what I am capable of. It's hard to remember these things, and one day we may feel on top of the world and the next feel like a complete failure. We all have these days, but must remember they are just days, days that we will get through, days we will learn and grow from. 

I wanted to share this tonight because as women and mothers we just don't hear it enough, we are hard on ourselves and give ourselves little credit for the amazing mothers we are. So hang in there, tomorrow is a new day and don't get down if tomorrow is that hard day... you will make it and you will be stronger because of. If you see a mom struggling, tell her how awesome she doing and while you are at... tell yourself how awesome YOU are doing. 

~ Kristy

Transitions

You know those times in life when things really don't seem or even feel stable? Kind of like you don't really know the exact direction you will go or what the other side is going to look like. But you know you have to make choices and decisions based on what you "think" is the best for yourself and most importantly your family. Sometimes you make the decision you think is the right one and you then realize maybe it really wasn't the best or it doesn't work out the way you expect. When a choice is put in front of you, you weigh all the options good and bad and maybe even pray about it or ask others to pray for you. You put your heart on the line and it doesn't always go according to plan. These are the times of transition, the times you wish you knew how it would all end up. There is a bit of uncertainty in these times and this uncertainty can make you question things you would have never questioned before. Doubt creeps in and things begin to appear overwhelming and difficult.

I've debate writing about this topic for some time not sure how it would come across or be perceived. But the reality is my family and myself are in a time of transition. A time that has us relying on people we didn't think we would ever need to rely on. A time that has us relying on our faith more than ever before. We've been learning and growing as a family during this time; it's not been without bumps or stress or even a few (many) shed tears. I personally have questioned myself a lot over the past few weeks... and we know those types of "questions" often go unanswered.

Even though we are finding ourselves in this transition we know there is an end in sight. It may not be exactly what we think it should be or the timing may be off. We may have to change our plans or do things we think we cannot. But isn't that what trying times are really all about, learning who you really are? Learning that difficult times and times of transition are just that "times".. times that will pass and times that will surely be back again. We learn new things along the way... things about ourselves and those around us. Some of them are things we wish we didn't have to learn but we know they are part of the process. When we come out on the other side we know we are stronger for having made it through and when we look back we realize "that wasn't so bad". I know that time is coming for my family and I can't wait to share it with you when it happens.

~Kristy

one of THOSE days

So we all have them... we typically refer to them as "one of those days" well Wednesday was just that. Many of you know we "successfully" - kind of, completed the 3 day method for potty training about 4 weeks ago. We have had really great days (one maybe two accidents) and really uhhhh awful days (every other minute is an accident). But the past few days they have been doing great minimal accidents, telling us when they have to go, and even going on their own!!! Until yesterday... it was like they completely forgot they knew to use the potty. I don't think they went more than once in the potty before nap time and for the first time in weeks we ran out of undies!! Nap time was a short 45 minutes and more accidents to follow. It was frustrating for sure, and I was wondering once again if we made the right choice.
I began prepping dinner and heard the words "pee-pee" my cue to run to the potty with whoever had just uttered the words. And finally after all day I was able to celebrate with both girls they WENT on the POTTY!! Phew... ok maybe we made the right choice. A few minutes later while dinner prep continued Charlotte played with the plastic and wooden cutting boards in the cupboard like she has done a hundred times before. All of a sudden she is crying and not the usual sissy took my baby cry the cry every mom hates to hear ... she was in pain. Maddy quickly scooped her up and took her the couch. I came to see her and her toe was already bruised and swollen, she was just hysterical crying saying "shoe" (she calls her feet her shoes) over and over again. She would try to touch her toe and the cries were louder and more heart wrenching. I tried to put ice on it but she wasn't having it and she tried to walk on it but she immediately started crying and would sit down. I decided a call to our on call nurse was the best action... I know that with adults a broken toe or finger there isn't much to be done. But I just felt that with her being a toddler it wasn't like I was going to be able to keep her foot elevated or iced if her toe was broken. The nurse did recommend we take her to be seen because toddler bones are different and grow differently than adults - so just to be sure we took her to urgent care. After seeing the doctor and an X-Ray she was deemed "OK" no broken bones just badly bruised.... Phew....
After urgent care we thought a nice treat would be some frozen yogurt... Charlotte was excited.. maybe too excited. As soon as we sat down and I tried to offer her a bite she started screaming. My first thought was that I touched her toe or she bumped it... nope she was mad at me for something to do with her treat. She just continued to scream .... tantrum like. After a warning (really??? A warning to a 21 month old what was I thinking?) she calmed down and we tried again... again she threw a fit so out we went... in the pouring rain with our melting FroYo.
Needless to say she cried the entire drive home, crying "mine, mine" for her FroYo, why is it that we feel so bad about disciplining our children when we hear them so very upset? We made it home and she was able to eat.. this time without incident. After that it was off to bed and I just hoped she would stay there and sleep though the night without pain. Olivia decided after a 5 minute cat nap in the chair with daddy she needed to stay up about 3 hours past her bedtime! Once we were all in bed we stayed there for the night and this mama got some much needed rest!
Yesterday was better and we had less accidents. Charlie's toe is better and they napped for three hours! I'm thankful hard days don't last long and are usually followed by accomplishments and better days. It helps to remember this when we are in the thick of those hard days... better days are just around the corner.

What if?

Do you ever just feel like you are supposed to do something? Not like do the dishes or clean the car, but like you have a purpose for something. Something you are called to do because you feel as though it fits you. Once you have that feeling how do you know it's the right one? A lot of times we think maybe God has called us to do something, we have that feeling so strongly, so deep in our hearts that we can't deny it. Other times that feeling is not as strong as we would like it to be... it's there but sometimes we are just looking for another sign to tell us it is ok. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith and trust in the path we have been put on. I think taking that first step is the hardest, the blind faith we must have that we are doing something we have been called to do.

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few weeks, thinking about what I have been called to do and what I want for this blog. I started this blog around a year ago to share the every day imperfections of life. To have a place to record our ups and downs, the fun times and the hard times, our laughter and our tears. I feel as though I have done that but I am not sure I have done it to the best of my ability. Like many times when we are led down a path there are bumps along the way for any number of reasons. Maybe we start to loose faith, or we aren't sure we are on the right path, we let fear overcome us and doubt sets in. We start to look for signs that we made the right decision to follow the path set before us. Sometimes those signs come when we least expect them and maybe they don't come at all. I found myself several times over the last year in many of these places but only until recently have I really felt that I have been on the right path all along. All of the questions, doubts, and fears I have felt only prepared me for the bigger journey I am about to take.

Ok, Ok so where is all of this going... I guess I just want to put myself out there some would say be "real". But I think it is important to share where I've been so that when I get to where I am supposed to be I can look back at this moment and remember the journey.

I can't wait to share more of myself with you all, more of our daily lives as we embark on new journeys, and more as I follow the path I have been given.

And thank you for sticking with me on this post... I promise it will be worth it!

Head on over to TwinTalk Blog today to check out my guest post... Here