Our First Week

 In case you missed it our baby girl number 5 was born on Friday March 18th at 11:16 am, she weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces and was 19 inches long. 

It's hard to believe Parker has been in our lives for a week already, it seems as though she has always been part of our family. She is a wonderful baby; she very rarely cries unless she is getting her diaper changed or if mommy waits too long to feed her. She is very content and is a great sleeper... Every once in a while when she fusses a cuddle will settle her right down. And that's just fine with us we will take all the cuddles we can get.

Her big sisters are completely smitten with her and it's always a race to see who holds her first. Charlotte and Olivia typically end up in bed with myself and daddy in the morning and their first question is "I hold Parker?" every single time. They almost always tell her they love her in their sweetest little voices. The smile that crosses their faces when they see her is so much more than I could have ever imagined. 

The biggest sisters are just as in love with her. They have not disappointed when it comes to helping out. They love to dress and change her, cuddle her, and shower her with tons of kisses. 

I absolutely knew this little one would fit perfectly with our family and she is so much more than I imagined she would be. I can't stop staring at her when she's sleeping, eating, or just laying there looking around. In just 9 short days we can already see the bond between her sisters and she has most certainly strengthened the bond within our family. We are so completely blessed to have her in our lives... We love you Parker Elaine

The BIG day

Today is the day!! Say what?? I've had 4 scheduled c-sections and I have only made it to two of the dates!! Today is one of those dates and given that the date has been changed 4 times it's kind of a miracle we are here!

When you become pregnant you know the date your baby enters this world will be just a short while away. But nontheless when that day arrives scheduled or not the feeling of disbelief is very real and present. So let me just get it out... I can't believe this day is finally here!! Dreaming of this day, imagining what she will look like, how her big sisters will react (especially the newly promoted ones), and how our family will grow when she joins us. 

Last night I watched this little girl dance in my belly for one of the last times. Knowing I will no longer have her all to myself is so very bitter sweet. I watched as Charlotte and Olivia hugged my belly "knowing" that they are no longer going to be the "babies". I prayed that I can be a good mom to FIVE children, that I can have grace in times of struggle. I tried to remind myself that there will be tough times, hard times, and even confusing times but we (I) will make it through those times and always be stronger because of them. But also reminded myself that there will be times of amazing happiness, laughs, joy, and pride in my family.

Yes, five children is "a lot" and I certainly will "have my hands full" and no we won't "be trying for the boy". Yes, these comments can make any one question their decisions but the one thing those comments will not do is define our family, they make our family stronger.

 So before our fifth daughter arrives I don't worry how she will "fit" with our family and I don't worry what others will think of "all of my kids". I know that this new life will be one we could never have lived with out. 

Because this statement taken from White House Black Shutters Blog speaks so much truth for me I'm sharing it for a second time... 

"But with every new life, it’s almost as if nothing changed. We had the same family and life we did before, just added a new personality into the mix. As soon as they were here, we couldn’t imagine life without them. When you stop to think about it, it’s just the people you have plus someone new to get to know and love."

Soon we will meet this new person and love her more than we could have ever imagined.

Journey to Number Five

Letter to the Big Sisters... to be

Charlotte and Olivia ~

We never imagined we would bring two amazing daughters into the world at the same time and now you both get to be big sisters at the same time. You girls bring us so much joy and are the blessings we never knew we needed. We love to watch you play and look after each other; your love for each other and your big sisters pours out of you. The day you get to meet your little sister is just around the corner and I have tried to picture this day in my mind for the last 9 months. When you are a toddler things aren't always easy to understand especially big changes, but we aren't worried and we know that you both will be great big sisters.

It's hard for me to see you both as no longer "the babies", becoming big sisters will certainly change you. I can't wait to see the big sisters you will become and how you will care for your sister. I feel so lucky God gave us you both and there is no doubt this little girl will be so very loved. You already love her and tell her all the time, give her tons of hugs, and ask to hold her daily. We simply cannot wait for the new adventure we are about to take and we know baby girl has the best big sisters just waiting to meet her.

Thirty Six Weeks

How Far Along - 36 weeks 2 days

Total Weight Gain - 30 pounds - I feel very confident in saying this right now "I don't really care"! Yes, that is how I feel right now about a lot of things.. weight gain is one of them! Even my doctor laughed last week when I made the comment about how I feel like I gain a pound every time I go there! He said well you hide it well.. I guess when you have "about" an 8 pound baby in your belly 30 pounds can be expected.

Maternity Clothes - Can you say the same shirt every day and the same bottoms every day?! Ok, so maybe it's not that dramatic but literally I have like 3 shirts that fit over this belly. I've put some of my more comfortable bottoms in my hospital bag so the other comfortable items are on repeat.

Sleep - It's going pretty well, getting up a lot to empty the bladder and working through contractions from time to time. Comfort is hard to come by and baby girl sometimes feels like she is trying out for the women's gymnastic team! Sometimes I just lay there so I can feel her move and really enjoy my last few days with her.

Miss anything? Just normal clothes and normal activity. I'm definitely looking forward to the day when I can wear normal clothes and not feel tired just walking from the bedroom to the bathroom.

Cravings - Craving anything I can have that I have had to give up over the last 9 months. My most used emoji's to my husband are currently... sushi, wine, and beer... and baby.

Symptoms - CONTRACTIONS ... last Wednesday we thought we may be headed to the hospital to welcome baby girl. But after about 4 hours and contractions and then becoming 5 minutes apart and pretty painful.. they stopped. Not sure if I was disappointed or not but either way we gained a few more days for baby girl to prepare for her arrival.

Looking forward to- We have 4 days until we head to the hospital to welcome baby girl 5 it seems so strange to know she will be here in our arms. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it and all that comes with it. At our growth scan last week the high risk doctor estimated her to be around 8 pounds... to say I was shocked is an understatement! What do I do with all these newborn clothes?! My doctor actually thinks she is probably more like 7 pounds as I was measuring 35 weeks on Friday. Either way baby is girl is healthy and we likely won't have to have any NICU time. He feels good about our date and the health of this little one and that is all that matters.

4 days left....

Letter to the Big Sisters

Kendal,
It's hard to believe in just one short week you will become a big sister for the 4th time.. it sounds strange to say. Looking back to when you were born I don't think we ever imagined 4 more would follow you. Ever since you became a big sister for the first time at the age of nearly 2 you have surprised us with your kind and caring ways. You are naturally a giving person so it is no shock that you would be this way with your sisters. It's not always easy having a sister so close in age and two sisters so far from your age. You have always stepped in when I needed you, it may be helping Madison with homework or played with the twins... even if it means letting them play with some of your favorite things. Watching you with your sisters gives me a glimpse into the future of just how great of a big sister you will continue to be. Sure there are difficult times... and maybe even times you wish you weren't the big sister. But there is a reason you were chosen first, a reason God gave us you before all the others. As you continue to grow I know that your view on being a big sister will grow with you. There will most certainly be bumps a long the way ... most I am sure we will figure out together. These "bumps" will only make you a better big sister to four girls that will most definitely be looking up to you as they navigate the same waters you have been through.
I can't wait to see you with your newest sister, she will no doubt be loved beyond measure and I am proud to know you are one of her big sisters.

Madison,
For a long time you were just the "little sister" maybe you wondered if you would ever become a big sister. I remember the look on your face when we announced that there were two babies on the way and you were going to be a big sister. The smile went on for days, it is one of my most favorite memories. As we prepared for the arrival of the twins you would always hug my belly and talk to them you were a great big sister even before they were here. You do the same now with your newest little sister.... I know she already knows how much you love her. When the twins arrived it was as if you had been a big sister all along; those girls were so loved from the very beginning and even today I see that love from you all of the time. There is hardly a time you won't play with them or make them feel better if they are upset. You are a great big sister even when they aren't being the best little sisters. You are able to show kindness and compassion beyond your 9 years a trait I already see in your little sisters. I couldn't ask for you to be a better big sister, and I know your newest sister will be just as loved. 

Love, Mom

Big Sisters

Making the decision to have children meant that we would make choices with them in mind. Not that we have to make sure they are happy with our decisions but that you just learn decisions are made as a family or at least considering the effect on the family. 

When Kendal became a big sister for the first time she was 20 months old, so not really at the age of understanding she was going to be a big sister. Of course we prepared her for the change and I kept her really involved in all things baby sister. 

Fast forward about 7 years and it was Kendal's turn again and Madison was prepping for her first go at big sister responsibilities. But this time there were two babies... Just what Kendal had asked for. With the girls being older they understood a lot more about what mama was going through during pregnancy and what was going to happen when we brought the twins home. They did amazing and still do; sometimes I am completely in awe of how great they take care of the twins. I couldn't ask for better big sisters. 

When the twins were about to turn 1 Curt and I started to talk about if we wanted to try for one more ... Mostly it was a joke at first and sometimes we laughed and said no way and other times we laughed and said maybe. But I knew this time it was going to be important to talk to Kendal and Madison about their feelings on the topic. Yes, at the end of the day the choice was ours but I couldn't see making our family larger without at least talking to them. When we brought it up they were excited about the possibility of there being another baby. Even though we hadn't made any concrete decision it felt good knowing that they would be ok and even be happy with "one more". 

So here we are just a week away from adding that "one more" to the family. I always seem to think of things I want to say to my girls but never actually say them. And to be honest I feel a little strange blogging these feelings and thoughts but these are my true feelings for these girls. Sometimes blogging is raw and (for me any way) always real. 

Letters to Kendal and Madison coming tomorrow ...

Thirty Five Weeks

The exhaustion is real in this photo...

How Far Along - 35 weeks 2 days

Total Weight Gain - 26 pounds - With just 2 weeks left I am feeling like this is a good weight... It's hard to say for sure though, I feel like every time I go to the doctor I gain another pound which would be ok if I only went once a week!! We will see where I am at by the end of this week probably 29 pounds!

Maternity Clothes - This is the time of pregnancy when you just feel like nothing fits and the things that do are pretty tight so I am pretty much left feeling huge and very repetitive in the maternity clothes department. But the end is near so we (Me and this big ol' bump) will make it!

Sleep - The twins have started sleeping through the night again (maybe waking once or twice but mostly going back to sleep on their own) making it a little easier for this mama to get some rest. And I am happy to report I have been sleeping pretty well. It is hard to get comfortable but I have been able to get some consecutive hours of sleep which is really all one can hope for at this point in pregnancy.

Miss anything? Putting on socks and shoes, bending over, and just completing simple tasks. When your belly is big and in the way it just makes the usually every day tasks a little harder to complete.

Cravings - Nothing really even sounds appetizing at this point, sometimes I feel like I could eat anything and everything I could get my hands on and other times the thought of food is just not appealing.

Symptoms - Swelling is definitely making its appearance in these final weeks my hands, feet, and ankles especially at the end of the day. Some headaches here and there and just general discomfort.. all symptoms to be expected.

Looking forward to- Now that the c-section has been changed once again (my doctor overlooked his vacation) to March 19th and it is official we have under 2 weeks until we finally get to meet this baby girl. This is a busy week full of doctors appointments to continually check on her as well as a final growth scan. While we are more than ready for baby girl's arrival we are making sure to shower our 4 daughters with lots of love before they all become big sisters again... or for the first time!!

The kids getting in on the "bump" photo action