You Matter

"So how are you feeling anyway?" Probably a question we are asked a lot more than we really want to answer. And if we are being real do we actually answer this question honestly?  I'm willing to bet most of the time we say we are fine even if we aren't. 

Why do we do this? Is it because we really don't want to talk about how we are actually feeling? Maybe we feel like we are going to be annoying or a burden if we really tell the truth? Sometimes we just might not feel like talking about it. Or maybe we think the person asking really doesn't want to know the truth of how we are actually feeling. Are we embarrassed, scared, ashamed? 

Of course there are times we had a bad morning, or didn't drink our coffee or just ran out of our favorite creamer. Maybe our car wouldn't start, or our kids wouldn't get out of bed, our alarm didn't go off or we pressed snooze one too many times... I don't think it's a stretch to say these things happen to all of us and well we just don't want to talk about it. 

But what I'm really getting at with this questions is this, what if you really aren't doing "fine" or "ok"? What if you really want to say how you actually feel? That you are stressed, anxious, depressed, scared, worried, alone, hurt, or that you just feel lost. What if you are at your lowest of lows and you don't know how to come back, you don't know how to fight any longer. These are real things we struggle with it doesn't matter how old we are, our gender, race. hair color, education.. MENTAL HEALTH - MENTAL ILLNESS doesn't care. 

I am so tired and flat out pissed at the way our society views any sort of mental health struggle. I see it all over the place; in the form of bullying, discrimination, judgment, ignorance, the looks, the silent accusations. WHY? why do we do these things?? Why do we do them to each other to ourselves to our loved ones? I know that I don't have the answer to these questions but I do know it's time to end the stigma surrounding mental illness, it has to stop. Let's make it ok for people to talk about how they are feeling, make it ok for people to ask for help and to not feel ashamed because they need help. 

When someone goes to the doctor because their back hurts and they don't know how to make it better, do we ridicule them? Of course not, so why do we hold the disease of mental illness to a different level? Why is it so wrong to ask for help?

I don't know all of the answers or even know what to say when I see someone struggling but, I do know I can be there for them, I can listen, I can point them in the right direction, I can make them feel valued and loved and that they deserve to be happy, free from anxiety and depression. WE ALL DESERVE THIS!

So here is my truth, I struggle with and suffer from anxiety and depression. I am trigged when people around me have too much to drink, I am triggered when I hear about or see domestic violence. I'm brought back to places I never want to return to, because some of those memories are like reliving the trauma over and over again. My life's choices are largely impacted by my mental health; I am blessed to have found my peace in the hard times, the triggering times, and the times I can't stop thinking about my past experiences. 

Please, I am begging you just be kind, offer to listen, when you see someone struggling tell them you care, tell them you love them. And maybe you don't understand what they are feeling or going through but you can still be there, you can still support them. 

The only way we can end the stigma and make it ok to ask for help or support is by taking action it only takes one second, one person, one smile, one prayer to change someones entire future.

 If you are hurting or need healing or just need to know that you are not alone I leave you with this:

Let's forget about that

 Let's pretend it hasn't been nearly 4 years since I last shared in this little space. I'm not worried about it, as I am sure you aren't either. Every so often I think about this blog I created when the twins weren't even one yet ... yeah now they are almost ten! When I think about it I remember how much I love to write, like really love it; and I'll think about something fun I could write about or some memory I could share, but then I never seem to find the time. And so it goes ... over and over again. I wonder why we don't just take the time or find the time to do what we love? I mean if we do what we love doesn't that make us happier? More fun to be around? So why are we so quick to forget about what makes us happy? I don't really think there is an answer or maybe there is one but the answer is different for all of us. I am not sure why tonight, a Tuesday night at 10:00pm I decided to log into "my blog" and start typing again. I certainly don't think it is necessary to updated "everyone" (ie: whoever decides to read this) on what has been going on with our family for the past 4 years. And I don't need to write about how old my girls are or how long we've now been married, because well if you look back at the old posts and add about 4 years you'll figure it out. This space was once a place to share all about my kids, my favorite things, my marriage, or a good recipe, who knows maybe it will become that again. Or maybe it will be something more, what that "more" is... well I have some ideas, but the trick is getting them out of my head and onto these pages. My life is much the same as it was 4 years ago but it's different in so many ways and I can say those differences have made me the wife, mother, and woman I am today.  

For now I'll leave you with this...

 

See you soon

XO - Kristy

Mom Talk 2.0

You may remember … way back when.... like 15 months or so ago that I had a semi weekly post about all the things moms experience that literally leave us shaking our head called "mom talk". Or maybe we just need to hear "Yup, I've been there too".  Is this crazy life we just need to know we are not alone and we are amazing just the way we are.

Target.. Let' be real … target is my jam and my family knows it. My 2 year old will request to go to target when we are out of something at our house. For example "Mom, go target for fru foops (Fruit loops)". We pull into a random store's parking lot "Mom we at Target". And she is just so smart and all knowing about target that she knows exactly were the double carts are located upon entering the store. Why does target do this, why and how are we sucked in? When I think to myself that I have to go to the store, my second thought is "do they have it at target?" My husband likes to tell me that I think I have to "go through" target to get home. But yet some how he still askes me "why did you have to go to target" … Like he doesn't already know. I'm just saying we all have our "thing" and well I guess target is mine... and my friends … I am OK with it :)

Dinner … Any parent of small children (current or former) knows what a battle dinner time can be. We are stuck some where between "you will eat what I make" and "I don't care what you eat, just eat something". Seriously, I think Olivia has cereal for dinner more than she has it for breakfast! She askes me all the time "what's for dinner" and it doesn't matter what I say... if it doesn't start with mac n' cheese, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets … she doesn't like it. I absolutely remember this time with the older girls, but for some reason it is so much harder to deal with now! So what do you do??? I say dinner time is supposed to be enjoyable and free of crying and complaining … HAHAHA yea right. But I bet it would be if I just gave her the cereal to begin with right??

When was the last time you had a bath?? This Is a serious question I ask myself probably more times than I should. Being a parent really means you have to remember a lot of things.. feed them, make sure they wear more than underwear out of the house, educate them, "try" and keep them from getting hurt, make sure they don't smell... I mean come on... that is a lot! Then you add in more than one child, and activities, and groceries, and target runs, and so much more and you barely have time to make sure you got a shower let alone your kids! So for real how long is it acceptable to go without a bath?? Asking for two 5 year old's and a 2 year old.

Listen.. life is not always easy, and we aren't perfect. So what if we live for 30.. ok 60 minutes of quiet time at TARGET ALONE, or we feed our kid chicken nuggets for dinner every night of the week, and we have to question when they were last clean. We ALL Do the best we can and if you think you are alone YOU ARE NOT. Take heart friend we are all in this together.

What's Up Life...

Exactly... right?
Here comes a new and improved Blog for you all! It's literally been forever since I last wrote, no I am serious we are talking 15 whole months!! Life gets crazy sometimes and to be quite honest life is crazy ALL the time these days around our house. So I thought what better way to relaunch this blog than with a new name that really fits this season of our life! "What's up Life"... I really wanted a name that could represent all the "stuff" that we have going on, all the activities the kids are involved in, what the husband and I are up to, and so much more.

Yes, the last 15 months have been pretty crazy, and if you don't follow me on social media then I'm sure all the updates will start making sense soon. I really did miss my little blog and my readers during my break and I thought about things I could blog about often. It was simply a matter of finding time to sit and write. I've always loved writing and it has been a way for me to connect with others so for 2019 I'm bringing it back. I've learned from the past and my time away that it really doesn't matter how often I blog, what matters is that I make a connection when I do. I hope that you will find the same blog you remember from before with just a bit more fun and laughs.

Now for a quick update...
All the happenings in 2018
-We went north for Christmas (2017) and we all came back sick! It took us nearly the entire rest of winter break to get back to feeling better.
-The twins finished up VPK and moved up a level in Gymnastics, and of course started kindergarten in the fall
-Madison was involved with Odyssey of the Mind and her team won at the county level and went to states, they didn't win but it was a fun experience for us all
-Curt (the husband) coached several soccer teams and had a blast. The kids he coached really loved him and our kids loved to watch the games and eat all the snacks from their Aunt Bridget
-Kendal finished up her first year of cheerleading and rolled right into her 8th grade year of cheer.
-Parker really grew a lot during 2018, she found her voice and her words and there has been no stopping her since!
-We went to New Mexico in May to visit with my side of the family. My nephew graduated from high school and we all came from different parts of the country to celebrate
- I am continuing to coach my health and fitness groups and have started substitute teaching, it has been on of the biggest blessings for my personal growth
-WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!! Yes, in May we finally bought a house in Florida! What we thought might not happen until the end of the year came much quicker thanks to our amazing realtor and our willingness to take a leap!


So of course there's probably so much more I could share but that is the quick version! I can't wait to share more the life we've been living with the seven of us. we have many adventures planned for this year and it's going to be amazing!

Welcome back friends... I am so glad you're here!

When a Hurricane Hits

My husband and I are no strangers to extreme weather. Growing up in upstate New York we have experienced many snow storms, shut down roads, blocked highways, accidents, and been snowed in. I even had to sleep in a grocery store for two nights when I was in college because I had left my apartment and couldn't make it to my home town because of a snow storm.

Since we have lived in Florida we have experienced heavy rains, tropical storms/depressions, and flooded roads. This past month we experienced our first hurricane. In all honesty the entire ordeal was far worse than anything I ever expected. And yes, hurricane Irma could have been so much more devastating than it was and I am so very thankful it wasn't.

I never knew the magnitude something like this carries, the decisions we make, do not make, and make again can really send your head spinning. When talk of Irma moving towards Florida first started there were a lot of different theories of the path "she" would take. And admittedly I wasn't too worried, we have lived here going on seven years and seen many similar news reports. But as things started to change and friends started to worry or share that they were evacuating I started to doubt my calmness. Then things would change again and I was back to being calm, but each time the news would change there was a fear inside of me wondering if we were making the right choice. At one point we had made the decision to evacuate, we felt it was the best thing for our family. Of course my husband and I discussed all of our options several times per day and made these decisions together. Then next day (the day we were planning to evacuate) there was a change in the path and we decided it would be too risky to try and leave with 5 kids and 2 dogs not know the traffic or how long it was going to take us to just get out of Florida. So we decided to stay and then that sense of calm came back over me, knowing that we had made our final decision and were sticking to it. But yet again the new reports were changing seemly by the minute and just like before the fear was back. See, I wasn't worried about myself or my husband all I could do was think about how the kids were going to react. The worry and fear inside of me was rising with each passing moment to the point where my anxiety was getting the better of me.

We talked about how we could make the house more safe for us and the kids and decided we would board the windows and make a "safe room" for us to be during the hours Irma was supposed to be at its worst. The next morning (Saturday .. Irma was projected to hit us hard Sunday evening into Monday morning) my husband and I woke up early and headed to our our local home depot, praying we could find some plywood for the windows. When we arrived at 6am the parking lot was full of vehicles but the store was not open... my heart sank ... now what? We noticed a cop car and a truck, there were a lot of people standing around. It looked like someone was giving away plywood, my husband went over and that is exactly what was happening. But.. we were too late, there was none left and that is when I finally let my emotions take over and I lost it. The tears would not stop flowing and to add to it the news report had Irma tracking directly over Tampa as a category 4 hurricane. We came home and looked through every single thing we had to try and find some sort of something to board up the windows with and we thankfully we did. We found just enough to get it done and I can't thank my husband and brother in-law for getting it put up. The next day (Sunday) was a complete blur ... it was like waiting for something to happen but you just weren't sure how it was going to impact you. Throughout the day it rained off and on and the wind picked up from time to time. The kids seemed to have fun in the wind and at least I could see them relaxed and enjoying the day. 

That evening the kids kept asking when we were going to go to our "safe room" aka the bathroom... it was a blessing that they were so calm during this time. The news reports while looking better were still conflicting and just difficult to rely on. The kids eventually fell asleep in the "safe room" and my husband and the dogs slept in the bed while he listened to the news on his phone. I ended up in the living room with Parker. It was the longest night of my life ... you could hear the wind and the rain and at points I thought the window over our door was going to break. I kept playing it over in my mind what I would do if the window did break. I would doze off and be woken up by more loud wind and pounding rain. Around 4 am the sounds started to taper off and I was shocked our power hadn't gone out. Then the surges started off and on for about two hours and then it just stayed off.

We lost power for three days...

After Sunday was over we worked hard to get back to normal... but no power and a generator that broke on day two with now power made it a bit difficult to be normal. Through it all the kids did so amazing .... much better than I did. I learned that my kids are much stronger than I give them credit for. I know at the end of the day there were areas that were hit far worse that we were and being without power for three days is nothing compared to what others experienced and are some are still experiencing. Nevertheless, everyone deals with these things in different ways and this experience has certainly changed me in ways I never knew possible. I would like to think that if (when) something like this were to happen again we have the experience to make the right decisions for our family.

Here are some photos I took throughout the days leading up to and including the day of the hurricane ...

Lastly, I want to thank everyone for the Prayers and thoughts that you sent our way. We certainly felt them and know they worked and if you watched any of the local news reports after Irma you know the Prayers were felt far and wide. We are blessed with and incredible support system.. thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Oh hey there LIFE

Life, wow this life sure has gotten busy lately! And as cliche' as it sounds I absolutely wouldn't change it for anything. And to say the summer was busy with the kids off school leaves me wondering just how busy this school year is going to be for us! Kendal and Maddy are both now in middle school and the twins start Pre-school on the 14th! Parker is now walking and really just into anything and everything ... I'm sure her big sisters don't have a hand in her mess making at all!

With all the craziness going on around us Curt and I have tried to get in a "day" date here and there .. only once this summer to be exact but it was great and our first in almost a year! We let the big girls stay home and watch the three little ones and it went so well we've done it a few more times since then!

Kendal starts cheer this school year so I know we will be busy with practice and games all school year long! Maddy and the twins are into gymnastics and having a blast. I've been putting a lot of my extra energy into my health and fitness coaching business and to say I'm in love with it would be an understatement! I'm on a mission to help empower as many women as possible! And Curt? Well he's just busy supporting us all and waiting for hunting season of course!

There's so much more to update and I hope to get back into blogging at least twice a week... now that the twins will be in school 3 days a week I may have a few extra minutes to do just that!

Even when I'm not posting I think about things to talk about all the time! I've been going into more detail sharing life on instagram (klynnfitnessandfamily) so hop on over there for all the in between stuff!! Thank you all for sticking with me during this busy season of our lives ... there's sure to be a lot to chat about!!